Eggs for Sale

Time and time again he whispered into my ear and tugged on the loops of my jeans.

“I want to give you a baby.”

The driving force of growing into your thirties has its perks, but the craving of a child is unstoppable and at most times inconvenient.

I’m not sure what led to our passion that night, but it was sexy; the kind you read about in books and tighten your legs to during movies.

Hands: everywhere.

Bodies covered in salted steam, hips swinging from the pendulum of momentum.

The release of him into me was enough to remind me what I was after. I absorbed his sperm with my subconscious like a mushroom blooming in the dark.

Babies.

I held him there, refusing to let him slip away.

All that was wrong would be wrong again.

You see, we were no longer dating. We hadn’t been for months. But as you age, you see yourself very differently alone. There’s a sudden need for routine; a craving for the familiar. One thing was for certain: I wasn’t curious anymore. I’d been with many men, hardly one more surprising than the next. And it wasn’t the need for sex. Sex was more laborious than ever and I was aging. Twisting the skin on your neck and near your underarms is enough to make someone reevaluate habits and reaffirm self-doubt. One thing is for certain, if you are aging, so are your eggs.

Many times over the past few months I had decided I might be alone and old forever. Selfishly, no one to give me the gift I desired most; to create a life.

All I once I sat up in the bed and coughed to release his life from entering mine.

Is this what I have come to? Hormones become a Human?

My not-yet-thirty year-old body is not yet ready to be responsible for the passion of a one-night stand with an exhausted lover!

 

…But maybe tomorrow.

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Her Make-Believe

Coral smiles

deep as sea

Eyes that grow

in worlds unseen.

Cacti roots and

butterfly wings

She’s most beloved

in her make-believe.

Days like These

Days like these

We worship.

We worship it,

Not for its perfection,

But for all the moments we wish we could have taken back.

For all the words we should have inhaled instead of spewed.

Days like these

We sit on our thrones alone

Because power comes at a mighty lonely price.

We practice our goodness but never quite get to genuine.

It’s days like these that remind us where we are.

Who has come before us

And how we will pave the way for the others.

Days that are long,
Hard,

And slow.

But worth every hustling minute.

We will remember the glory of these days

Not for its perfection

But for its purity.

Do You Want To Go On An Adventure?

“Do you want to go on an adventure?” 

This was the first message she had sent to him since exchanging numbers a week before. There wasn’t much to do in this small town, but drinking at the local watering hole was not going to be one of them. Not tonight. There was something different about this one. An outsider in every way. A man who walked into the room and everyone stared. A majestic man of six-foot-never-ending. A magnetic energy that she was drawn to in an unstoppable force.

She continued, “There’s a place, just beyond the freeway off Washington St. Once you pass the last signal light, keep driving. Follow the signs to the dirt parking lot and I’ll be waiting.” 

Under a frolicsome full moon she awaited her safe stranger and once he arrived, hours went by before she remembered time existed. They swapped stories and interests, heartbreaks and failures. 

Bewitched to balance a biography between an identity and an ego, their eyes glistened over and they kissed. At least once. Untimely and right. Instincts hunted a wild within them and won. Rightly so in the midst of a midnight desert. 

Enslaved in a summer’s end, the night shook sweat from the heat of the car. Daybreak cracked through the palms and an oasis of love could be seen by the land. “Love looms on our horizon. Look what we’ve created,” croaked the mountains.

As if he had heard the mountain, he awoke, took her hand and walked to the highest point of the land. She followed; watched as he said not one word, but poured unspoken admiration into the sunrise. 

Hooked on the fire red beams, he smiled, took a deep breath and a long sigh.

And she fell in love.

“Do you want to go on an adventure?” She said again with an illimitable grin.