I want to kiss all your scars until they heal with memories of me tightly woven in.
Fickle fears on your ear drum
Reappear with the shore
Unmistakably echoing in your head
From the last time you placed the shell
On your temple
And begged to be answered.
So be the light that breaks my darkest pain.
And birth a flame where the sunlight is made
O’r beyond the borders of a mountain range.
Turn by turn drift away with grace only somedays.
Today I had a moment. So excuse me, but I had a moment. A moment to breathe. To shake off all the worry. To submit myself to the universe and it’s energy.
I had a moment between the shifts of a few papers. I had my moment eating lunch. I walked outside and took a breath and finally felt something. I broke free of the smiling depression and simply smiled to the sky.
I had my moment for an eternity of heartbeats and a sisterhood speech. I howled. I whispered. I sat quiet on a bench. I walked a line so close to freedom and wobbled toward what might be next.
I had a moment to release the anx and leave this physical realm. Diving deeper in the midst of roots that were trying to tie me down. I swam in the mud of the noise. I drank all the cars on the road. I imagined myself a giant. Then a toad. Then a friend. Then a ghost.
I had my moment in the mirror when I wiped off all the tears. It revealed a face much deeper that I’d never noticed there. My moment revealed happiness and heartbreak and pain and the potlucks of many colorful lives I had made.
I almost ran into your aura today. The thing that makes you most unapproachable and unimaginably attractive. You stumbled when I looked up. I smiled that it was I your eyes hooked. A year went by before I swallowed the unspoken correspondence. Urgency rounded up my skirt as I turned to leave the room. My aura howled as it stretched from beneath my pelvis. I could feel my hairs rise on the back of my neck where your eyes had locked and I continued to walk. I knew you’d follow.
A falling star caught on my window
Shimmers of dust stream into my eyes.
Deception loves a game of lessons
We love the chance to try.
We can’t be afraid of what we don’t know,
May we find ourselves in the courage.
So we’ll drink to those who have told us no
and listen to our inner sinner.
Dip me in your disease and say “Excuse you,” when I sneeze.
It is about you.
This pain that I’m feeling is because of you.
Let me know when it’s over and I can stop pretending it doesn’t hurt.
Like it doesn’t itch like a poison on my skin that I will slowly tear away. I’ll rub and claw until I’m bone deep and searching for how I did this to myself,
all the while knowing it did not begin with me, but it will end there.
A lot happened here.
Moved me in disaster.
Where will we be in a year?
Two more steps and we’ll be near.
Two more my dear,
We’re almost there.