Am I awake?
Are my eyes open?
Where am I? It’s so dark my eyes cannot find prisms for feedback.
A palm is placed over my mouth.
I jerk my head side to side in a motion to release. And I can’t find my hands in time.
“What is – – ”
I moan between a tense jaw and buckled teeth.
Wow. I start to gain senses.
The weight of his body pins me back and his eagerness pushes into me deeper.
I can’t tell if I’m enjoying it because I think I just woke up. How did we get here and why is everything so loud? I can hear sparks from space and suddenly a slaughtering scream from the crease of light between my hell and high school.
Follow the light.
He pulls me up, spins me on my feet and shoves my panties in my pocket. I hear the words “birth control” and I nod my head in sleepy assurance. He picks up my chin and as we near the slight light his silhouette becomes a friendly face.
“But how–?” I start to ask and he answers by opening the portal. I try to adjust my pupils calmly as I am suddenly stage fright to a party. I spin to my right and face a firearm. Am I dreaming? I rub my eyes and look up to catch your seaglass stare of disbelief. Your friend should have ended me, for what came next was the hardest scar to heal.
Your bestfriends lead me out of the room, one by forced love, one by firearm–
hold me accountable.
Women race me to the restroom to clean me up. I’m bruised, broken, chin deep in tears and fluids
And I’m empty.
For the rest of my life I will have words tattooed on the roof of my mouth that have deserved to ring your ears and shatter your seagreen eyes.
But who would believe it?