Maybe A Little Always

I think about you a bit.

Maybe a little

Often

Quite regularly 

Always.

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My Moment

Today I had a moment. So excuse me, but I had a moment. A moment to breathe. To shake off all the worry. To submit myself to the universe and it’s energy. 

I had a moment between the shifts of a few papers. I had my moment eating lunch. I walked outside and took a breath and finally felt something. I broke free of the smiling depression and simply smiled to the sky.

I had my moment for an eternity of heartbeats and a sisterhood speech. I howled. I whispered. I sat quiet on a bench. I walked a line so close to freedom and wobbled toward what might be next.

I had a moment to release the anx and leave this physical realm. Diving deeper in the midst of roots that were trying to tie me down. I swam in the mud of the noise. I drank all the cars on the road. I imagined myself a giant. Then a toad. Then a friend. Then a ghost.

I had my moment in the mirror when I wiped off all the tears. It revealed a face much deeper that I’d never noticed there. My moment revealed happiness and heartbreak and pain and the potlucks of many colorful lives I had made.

Unspoken Correspondence

I almost ran into your aura today. The thing that makes you most unapproachable and unimaginably attractive. You stumbled when I looked up. I smiled that it was I your eyes hooked. A year went by before I swallowed the unspoken correspondence. Urgency rounded up my skirt as I turned to leave the room. My aura howled as it stretched from beneath my pelvis. I could feel my hairs rise on the back of my neck where your eyes had locked and I continued to walk. I knew you’d follow. 

Surface Scratch 

It is about you.

This pain that I’m feeling is because of you.

And you.

And you.

Let me know when it’s over and I can stop pretending it doesn’t hurt.
Like it doesn’t itch like a poison on my skin that I will slowly tear away. I’ll rub and claw until I’m bone deep and searching for how I did this to myself,
all the while knowing it did not begin with me, but it will end there.